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How To Have Sex For The First Time

by Ruby

You and a girl are back at your place after a date.

You sit close together. You go for the kiss, she kisses you back passionately, and suddenly you’re tearing each other clothes off. Boom, you’re having sex.

But sometimes, things are a bit more complicated.

Many women are not nearly as aggressive or prepared. You may have had a great time together but she’s still hesitant and nervous. This happens especially with younger or inexperienced women.

She may want to take things slower. She may need reassurance that she’s doing the right thing. She may not want to be seen as a “slut”.

You need to get her…

Sexually comfortable with you.

That doesn’t mean you should wait around, hoping some day she’ll be ready or make a move on you. That’s how you lose a woman’s interest. You want to be proactive, take the lead, and then calibrate accordingly.

There are three elements you need to provide so she’ll she feel ready to do the deed.

1. Relax Her

Before a woman can even become turned on, she needs to be relaxed. Her mind has to be free of worry and her body free of tension.

For her mindset, you have to create a worry-free environment. She can’t be stressing about how she looks, what you’ll think, or if she’s being too open with her sexuality. Reassure her.

  • “Damn, you look irresistible/so fucking amazing.”
  • “You’re so beautiful/sexy, I want to touch you all over.”
  • “I love how you look right now.”
  • “Your body is amazing.”

For her body, remind her to relax in a soft, soothing tone. Tell her to close her eyes, lay back, and take a deep breath. Again, let her know that you want her to feel taken care of.

  • “I want you to feel absolutely incredible.”
  • “All I want to do is worship every inch of your body.”
  • “Just lay back and feel my hands all over your soft skin.”

For her mood, Our environment plays a huge role in how we feel. If your home smells bad or looks bad, it’s near impossible for a woman to truly unwind.

  • Make sure the room temperature is comfortable for both of you. Women struggle to be present and orgasm if it’s too cold.
  • Use dim lighting or scented candles to set a relaxing vibe.
  • Set the scene with a clean, tidy room that feels welcoming and comfortable.
  • Play soft or sexy music in the background to create a calming atmosphere.

Because only when she’s relaxed will she be ready for you to…

2. Turn Her On

If she’s going to have sex with you, she needs to get horny for you. You want her so hot and wet she can’t wait another second to have you inside her.

Take your time, there’s no rush. This is foreplay!

I know you only need 10 seconds to get going, but women need to be primed before they’re ready. You want to tease, touch, and caress her body.

Focus on her pleasure. Too many guys immediately go for getting themselves off. It doesn’t help her trust that you have her best interests in mind.

3. Develop Trust

Sex is a physically scarier act for most women than men. She is being completely vulnerable and allowing you to enter her body.

There’s always a fear that she’s alone with someone who could potentially overpower her and go further than she desires. You want to relieve her of that fear through your words and actions.

As you’re touching her body, say something that confirms you’ll respect her boundaries. Don’t dwell on it, just say it once with conviction.

What If She’s Not Ready?

If it doesn’t happen that night, doing the above and respecting her boundaries will make her want to fuck you later. Guys worry too much about getting laid that very day. Enjoy the experience for how far it goes.

When you do that, she’s almost guaranteed to be ready next time. You’re still building immense amounts of attraction. You’re not going to end up in the friend zone.

Remember, you can’t make a girl want to have sex with you. She has to come to that conclusion on her own.

Techniques like guilt-tripping or “freeze outs” (where you ignore her until she feels so awkward/bad she sleeps with you) may work on occasion. But, you’re manipulating and pressuring her into having sex. That’s not the way to start a healthy sexual connection.

If you treat her poorly, she often won’t want to see you again.

Be the guy that provides a positive, supportive, and memorable experience. Not only will she want to continue hooking up, she’ll want to further explore her sexuality with you.

That only leads to deeper, dirtier, and more satisfying sex.

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